<p>'Her first words were "shoes" and "brioche".'<br><br><br>'There's no nicer way to put this, but frankly anyone can afford to go skiing these days.'<br><br><br>'Of course I said "no". A trampoline in the garden gives out entirely the wrong message.'<br><br><br><br>Based on the popular Twitter account @Highgatemums, this hilarious collection brings together the most outrageous snippets of conversation that have been overheard in the shops and ca...